The simultaneous Euros and Copa América are now behind us, but there’s no rest for the football-obsessed. Despite the fact that the opening ceremony is not until next Friday, the men’s and women’s football tournaments start mid-week.

The men’s tournament, it must be said, is probably only for the truly addicted. Because of the classist, anti-professional sentiments of the Olympics’ 19th century creators, the men’s event remains a de facto U-23 tournament, albeit with three spots reserved for senior players. Its general importance is suggested by Liverpool’s refusal to release either Mohamed Salah or Wataru Endo for the tournament, preferring to keep them at home for the pre-season friendlies (in fairness, contracts for the US-based Soccer Champions tour, running at the same time as the Olympics, may have required these refusals).

Having said that, the United States is playing in the men’s tournament, which should be of interest to some stoopid Americans. They are matched with France in Group A, Paraguay their main competitors for the 2nd place spot. This is exactly the kind of task that the grown-up men’s team failed to accomplish in the recent home Copa, but a spot in the quarterfinals is not out of the question. I’ll only be listing US games in the group stage for the men’s tournament, though I’ll include times for all of the knockout matches.

Because women’s football was not included as an event until 1996 (just shy of a century after the men’s tournament was established), it avoided the Olympics’ amateurism fixation and has always been a major tournament, second only in prestige to the World Cup–a rare beneficial though unintended consequence of sexism.

As a result, there is a lot more than the US women’s team to watch, which means dealing with the highly compressed group stage schedule for this tournament. Simultaneous games are played throughout the group stage in order to fit a full round into a single day: six games in three time slots (and eight into four for the men). I’ll be making suggestions, but the truth is that you should plan on watching as many of these games as you can find time for. Happily, all games (women’s and men’s) are available on Peacock; and simultaneous games are all shown live on either Telemundo or NBC Universo.

Admittedly, the three-group structure of the tournament somewhat undermines the excitement of the group stages. While each group has three elite sides (top 12 in FIFA rankings plus Colombia, surely underrated at 22), the fact that two third-place teams will advance means that most top sides will see knockout action. Even so, these are major tournament games that deserve attention.

Finally, I’ll be listing many of the friendlies in the US-based Soccer Champions tour. I’m not sure these will really be worth watching if you’re not in the stadium, but they’re all available on ESPN+ (as well as other ESPN outlets for many games), and they may appeal to Premier League/Champions League fans. It seems like they have been intentionally aligned to the Olympic schedule, though that may just be an accident.

NOTE: All listed times are CDT. Add an hour for the East Coast and subtract one or two for Mountain or West Coast respectively.

Wednesday, July 24th – Men’s Tournament
2:00 PM France – United States (also on USA). It’s basically U-23, so who knows? I think we all know, but I’ll still be watching. France is coached by Thierry Henry, who has brought in Alexandre Lacazette, Jean-Philippe Mateta, and Loïc Badé as his senior players. Marko Mitrović has brought in Walker Zimmerman, Miles Robinson, and Djordie Milhailovic as his senior players, two center-backs suggesting his concerns and/or priorities at the tournament.
9:30 PM Chelsea – Wrexham (Friendly). I will not be watching this game, but fans of the television series may be interested. An alternative for those indifferent to the charms of Ryan Reynolds would be Arsenal – Bournemouth, also on ESPN+, at 9:30 PM.

Thursday, July 25th – Women’s Tournament
10:00 AM Spain – Japan (also on USA). This is a tough call, but Canada should be able to handle New Zealand without too much trouble. Famous last words, I know.
12:00 PM Germany – Australia. Again, Brazil are definite favorites against Nigeria.
2:00 PM United States – Zambia (also on USA). The truth is that France – Colombia is unambiguously the better game, and I wouldn’t blame you for watching it instead. But Americans would surely be stoopid to overlook Zambia. They were possibly the most exciting team to watch at the 2022 WAfCoN, and that was without their best player, Barbara Banda, unfairly disallowed from playing in a gross act of testosterone-policing. In the 2020 Olympics, Banda scored two hat tricks in a campaign that involved a 4-4 tie with China and a 1-0 loss to Brazil. Though less successful at the 2023 World Cup against Japan and Spain, they still managed a 3-1 victory over Costa Rica. Emma Hayes’s women will need to take this game seriously.

Saturday, July 27th – Men’s Tournament
12:00 PM New Zealand – United States. New Zealand are a defense-first side, who last Olympics finished ahead of Romania and Honduras in group before holding Japan scoreless for 120′ before losing on penalties. That side did feature Chris Wood, however, who isn’t playing this time around. Joe Bell, Michael Boxall, and Sarpreet Singh are Darren Bazeley’s senior additions (I’ve never heard of them either). This is our Panama game. Let’s keep everyone on the pitch and see how things go.
3:00 PM Chelsea – Celtic (Friendly).
5:00 PM Manchester City – AC Milan (Friendly, also on ESPN). This one, I will try to watch.
7:00 PM Arsenal – Manchester United (Friendly, also on ESPN). Maybe on this one.

Sunday, July 28th – Women’s Tournament
10:00 AM Brazil – Japan. New Zealand – Colombia should also be a decent game, but this one is better.
12:00 PM Australia – Zambia. This is another tough call, but I’d give this one the edge over Spain – Nigeria. If nothing else, it will have more impact on US chances in Group B.
2:00 PM United States – Germany (also on USA) and France – Canada. The first 2:00 PM double header was good, but you really HAVE to find a way to watch these games simultaneously. This is a North America – Europe double header to determine just how far the balance of power has shifted toward Europe. (Ooh, I feel a little like Alexi Lalas there. Someone should probably slap me.) Really, though, this is about as solid a double header as you could imagine–if double headers happened at the same time. Anyway, it’s a big night.

Tuesday, July 30th – Men’s Tournament
12:00 PM United States – Guinea (also on USA). I think this one should be a win. Which is good, because we will likely need one. Kaba Diawara does have senior additions Naby Keita, Amadou Diawara, and Abdoulaye Touré joining Ilaix Moriba in midfield. Nothing is that easy at U-23.
6:00 PM Barcelona – Manchester City (Friendly, also on ESPN). Again, I’ll try to watch this one.

Wednesday, July 31st – Women’s Tournament
10:00 AM Brazil – Spain. Mmmm.
12:00 PM Australia – United States (also on USA). If the US have won against Zambia and Germany–that’s one big and one little “if”–this game could be a relaxed one for a qualified US side. More likely, they will need a result, quite possibly a win.
2:00 PM Colombia – Canada. Unless France have bungled things earlier on, this is likely to be the big game in final round of Group A.
TBD Real Madrid – AC Milan (Friendly). Though not yet scheduled, this game will hopefully end up at 4:00 PM. Of course, the fact that it seems to belong in that window may suggest that it is TBD precisely because one or more of the clubs would prefer a different time. We’ll see.
6:30 PM Liverpool – Arsenal (Friendly, also on ESPN). I might watch this one. If you’re a Liga MX fan, Chelsea is playing Club América at the same time.
9:00 PM Manchester United – Real Betis (Friendly). I like Real Betis, but this is a late game.

Friday, August 2nd – Men’s Tournament, Quarterfinals
8:00 AM Group B Winner – Group A Runner-up. If the US makes the knockout round, it will probably be as the Group A Runner-up (behind France). Group B, in order of ELO/FIFA ranking (for the senior squad), is Argentina (1/1), Ukraine (19/25), Morocco (27/14), Iraq (51/55). That doesn’t sound promising, but U-23 is full of surprises.
10:00 AM Group D Winner – Group C Runner-up. Group D, in order of ELO/FIFA ranking (for the senior squad), is Spain (2/3), Uzbekistan (46/61), Egypt (53/36), Dominican Republic (159/150).
12:00 PM Group C Winner – Group D Runner-up. Group C, in order of ELO/FIFA ranking (for the senior squad), is Japan (17/18), Paraguay (49/62), Mali (60/53), Israel (66/78).
2:00 PM Group A Winner – Group B Runner-up. This, obviously, is the other quarterfinal that the US could end up in. Group A, in order of ELO/FIFA ranking (for the senior squad), is France (4/2), United States (32/16), New Zealand (65/94), Guinea (86/77).

Saturday, August 3rd – Women’s Tournament, Quarterfinals
6:00 AM Bayern Munich – Tottenham Hotspur (Friendly, on Paramount+). Not part of the Soccer Champions tour, this Harry Kane friendly is being played in Seoul, South Korea. It might be something for early risers to consider.
8:00 AM Winner Group B – Runner-up Group C. I’m not going to try and guess where folks are showing up in this draw; and because I can’t find Women’s ELO numbers updated beyond 2022, we’ll just stick with FIFA rankings, which in this case are at least the rankings of the actual teams playing in the tournament. Group B, in order of FIFA ranking, is Germany (4), United States (5), Australia (12), and Zambia (64).
10:00 AM Winner Group C – 3rd Place Group A or B. Group C, in order of FIFA ranking, is Spain (1), Japan (7), Brazil (9), Nigeria (36).
12:00 PM Runner-up Group A – Runner-up Group B. This could easily be the US against Canada or Colombia. Maybe even France. Who knows.
2:00 PM Winner Group A – 3rd Place Group B or C. Group A, in order of FIFA ranking, is France (2), Canada (8), Colombia (22), New Zealand (28).
4:30 PM Manchester City – Chelsea (Friendly). I might try to catch some of this game, but the big friendly of the night starts before this one finishes.
6:00 PM Barcelona – Real Madrid (Friendly). In truth, I may be watching Crystal Palace – West Ham United, which is happening in Tampa, FL at the same time; while others may opt for Manchester United – Liverpool at 6:30 (from Columbia, SC). But this NJ/NY Clásico is pretty clearly the friendly of the evening.

Monday, August 5th – Men’s Tournament, Semifinals
11:00 AM Winners of the 8:00 AM and 10:00 AM Semifinals (also on E!). If the US men somehow manage to beat Argentina, this is where they would end up.
2:00 PM Winners of the 2:00 PM and 12:00 PM (also on USA). If the US men somehow managed to top Group B (ahead of France) and then win their quarterfinal match-up, this is where they would end up.

Tuesday, August 6th – Women’s Tournament, Semifinals
11:00 AM Winners of the 8:00 AM and 12:00 PM Semifinals.
2:00 PM Winners of the 2:00 PM and 10:00 AM Semifinals.
6:00 PM Chelsea – Real Madrid (Friendly, also on ESPN2) or 6:30 PM Barcelona – AC Milan (Friendly). Your call.

Thursday, August 8th – Men’s Tournament, Bronze Medal Game
10:00 AM Men’s Bronze Medal Game. Olympic Bronze medal games are the only acceptable 3rd-place games in football. Originally this game would have had to share the day with the opening of the 2024-25 season, as the Trophée des Champions, Ligue 1’s Super Cup season opener between Paris Saint-Germain and AS Monaco, was scheduled to be played in Beijing. Something happened, however, and the game has been postponed. It will almost certainly not be played in China.

Friday, August 9th – Women’s Tournament, Bronze Medal Game and Men’s Tournament, Final
8:00 AM Women’s Bronze Medal Game.
11:00 AM Men’s Final.

Saturday, August 10th – Women’s Tournament, Final
9:00 AM Manchester City – Manchester United (FA Community Shield). With Ligue 1’s Trophée des Champions, the opening of the 2024-25 season is now shared with the Women’s final, quite literally in this case. I’ll probably watch the first half of this Manchester derby before switching over to the main game of the day.
10:00 AM Women’s Final. With all due respect to the Community Shield (exactly how much respect is due to a glorified friendly, even if it does signal the start of a new season?), the Gold Medal match for the Women’s Olympic tournament is a much bigger deal. I’m obviously hoping the USWNT will be here, but regardless, this is the second most important game in women’s international football (which is probably to say, in women’s football, sorry Champions League). It is not to be missed under any circumstances. Which brings us to . . .
11:30 AM Tottenham Hotspur – Bayern Munich (Friendly, on Paramount+). The reverse leg of the Harry Kane friendly, played at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, also starts before the end of the Women’s final. I can guarantee you I won’t be watching this one.